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UPDATE: Sasha Obama Checks In To Rehab, Will Not Be Expelled

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware that Sasha Obama was recently busted “doing lines” of cocaine in an empty classroom at her elite school, the Hawley Academy.

Child Protective Services knocked on the door of the Obamas’ $8.7 million D.C. mansion after Sasha told them that she stole the cocaine from her mother’s dresser – a fact that may cause Michelle Obama significant legal problems but keep Sasha from getting in any trouble or learning a single lesson from this.

Police questioned Michael Obama for hours after her youngest daughter gave her statement to police fingering her mother as the source of the drugs.

Fox News reports:

Now Hawley Academy says that Sasha can return to school as early as two weeks from Monday. D.C. Juvenile Court Prosecutor Mike Dirnt, who was appointed to his position by Barack Obama, says that he feels “she has learned her lesson” and that he sees no reason to “bother the girl further with court.”

Dirnt has served in his position since he was placed there by Sasha’s father in 2009, a fact causing some Republicans to accuse Dirnt of bias.

Sasha Obama has agreed to take two weeks off of school to attend a drug rehabilitation program in Hawaii. After completion, she will submit to drug tests once every six months.

This seems as cut and dry as the cocaine Sasha Obama was doing in that classroom, but for some reason, the Obama family gets to live by different rules than the rest of us.

It must be nice to be royalty.

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